Posted in humour, life, love

The year that was.. oh wait.. not yet…!!

The year is coming to an end… another to begin and I look back (ok I just ‘look’, damn you English Nazi’s) at how this year has ( ok ok, ‘is’…) been..

January: Single and Jobless

February: Got a job and proposed to the man.

March: Met the Fockers and he met the parents.

April: My line was engaged.

May: Ran around the city for Hair & Make-up artist and wedding photographer.

June: Spent the evenings at Ranga Mandira for wedding dance rehearsals.

July: Married the biker.

August: Set up the house for parties and more parties.

September: Two states – the story of my honeymoon. Rode 1600 kms to kerala..

October: Mundane. Work. Cooking. Husband. Parties. Cousins. – the ROUTINE.

November: Lights. Camera. Action. Was Busy acting in a family short film.

December: On a ‘only wine’ diet.

On the whole, it has been an awesome year…. Kickass, fun, funny, emotional, dramatic, love, love making, romance and what not.. cant wait for 2015….!

Posted in life, love

What NOT TO DO Post break-up…

“I cannot live without her any more. Life is meaningless. I had dreams. Honeymoon in Thailand, making love, making babies – two of them and now suddenly life has come to a stand still. Where is she? I cannot move ahead and I cannot live this life…” he said with utmost frustration and depression. A guy who is most of the time chirpy and cheesy changed to be down and depressed. We all go through break ups, well most of us do. And we have people all around us to tell us what to do. Here is my view on what NOT TO DO post a break-up.

Social bashing:

The first mistake people do after a break-up is lashing out at the Ex on social media sites. This is not going to make you feel better or move ahead. Status like “was I drunk during the entire relationship” does not work. Lashing out on each other on the social site shows immaturity and clearly gives the leverage to the other person to control your life remotely. Ensure you do not talk about it on social media before you make peace with yourself about it. Once you do this, you would have crossed the stage of talking about it to strangers.

Rebound sex:

As much as rebound sex is healing and comforting, it is that much worse too. Do not get into rebound sex if you are doing it to get some emotional support. Indulge in it if you are fully aware about the consequences. A friend of mine had a break-up and took to rebound sex within weeks and could not come out of the guilt much later. This pushed her into more depression and added to the agony she was going through already. Rebound sex is fine if you are matured enough to handle yourself post it.

Blame game:

When a break-up happens, not many admit and take the onus for it. Do not play the blame game. Don’t be impulsive to swear on your friends or anyone else about it. What has happened cannot be undone. But it is upto you to handle the break-up with utmost maturity and self respect. Calling names and creating a scene makes it ugly for you and others as well.

The ‘J’ feeling:

You had a break-up but that does not mean every relationship has to have one. Do not do that. Your friend maybe having a great love life, do not feel jealous. You may have all the right intentions toward her but the situation you are in would make your mind think otherwise. Do not go around with hate slogans about love. Just because it did not work for you, does not mean it cannot work for anybody else. Be a grown up about it.

Walled up:

Break-ups can be very stressful. Completely understandable, we get it. Don’t close yourself and sit in a corner and sob. Talk about it to your friends but do not over burden them about it all the time. Look at how you need to move ahead. Don’t wall yourself in a room and mourn. Life is outside and so is love. The feeling of depression will lead to some very serious damage to you, some of which can never be repaired.

Search of love:

You miss the cuddling, the kissing, the love making, the dinners, house parties with friends, the gifts, ‘I love you’ texts. It is natural to feel so. But do not jump into being involved emotionally with someone else to satisfy the feeling. You will realize later what a terrible mistake it was. It not only makes your life ugly but also the other person involved. Don’t be desperate to get into a relationship. Take your time and know yourself and what you need. Don’t search for ways to fall in love with someone. Give it a pause.

Revenge:

Seeking revenge on your ex could be the easiest way to vent out your feelings. Of course, we get it. But it could also be the most dangerous one. You do not know the situation of what your ex is in. Perhaps he/she is far more depressed about the break-up than you are. Sending out threat emails or being a life spoiler is a complete NO-NO. Revenge always digs two graves. Remember that and leave the person to himself/herself.

Being a puppy:

The break-up has happened and both of you have moved away from each other. Do not spy your ex in all ways possible. Secretly going through his/her fb profile through a friend’s login, making bogus phone calls to know if he/she is single or moved on to someone. The obsessive need to know what he/she is up to everyday.  This will only make the whole process worse for you. Be an adult and let the other person be.

Garbage tin:

We know collecting souvenirs in a relationship is common. Do not carry it with you post the break-up. Wearing his shirt and taking a nap is NOT cute. Reading her ‘I love you’ messages on whatsapp is not good at all. It is going to make you miss her and want her and also hit you she isn’t yours any more which is not a good situation for you to handle at this time. Being friends later is a different thing, but these personal souvenirs are not going to help you come out of it.

These may be my reasons on what NOT TO DO post a break-up. Your reasons might be different. It is very individualistic. These are just a broader perspective of what is being said. It is always easier said than done. I agree, but of these are just kept in mind, it helps us ease through the whole process with more ease and comfort.

There can be a lot of what NOT TO DO post a break up, but according to me the only TO DO post a break-up is to MOVE ON. Life is precious and new things await us every day. Embrace it and take time for yourself. Reflect within and know what you want. Understanding of the self is very important. There is always going to be someone else. Someone more better for you. The universe is never short of people. GET OUT and have some fun 🙂

Posted in love

THE GODESSESS…!

Well this blog isn’t about who is god and who isn’t; this blog is about the ladies in my life who made a difference for the best. The ladies who according to me are Goddesses, each of them have an avatar. Each one of them made a mark in some way, BIG or small. But they all left their foot prints.

GODESSESS 1:

These are my school goddesses. The first set of girl friends I made. The girls who don’t judge you for a chipped toe nail polish. The girls who don’t talk behind you, but to you… The goddesses who forgive and forget almost all the bad qualities in you and just focus on the goodness in you… The kind with whom you can sneeze and blow your nose and not feel embarrassed about it. The kind who would accept you for who you are… The kind to which you don’t need to Photoshop yourself… The kind who you meet after 15 years but still look at them with an image of how they were in school. Blessed I’m to have some very good friends in school who are to-date traveling in the journey of life. To-date, I would rate the school days to be the best.

WHO? – Viji Lakshmi, Saliha Mariam, Sahtya Ramkumar, Lavanya Venkat, Khadija Beevi and few others.

WHERE? CSI BAIN SCHOOL, Chennai

GODESSESS 2:

These are my college goddesses. The ones who show you what fashion is all about… The ones with whom I tried the “Topical Iceberg” in CCD for the first time with. The kind who judges you, the kind who back-bites but also the kind who is honest enough to tell you if you look stupid… The kind that you discuss sex, fashion and boyfriends…The kind who makes you want to go back to school… Unfortunately my college days weren’t the best but I managed to grab good few of them with whom I have a good connect to-date.

WHO? Uthra Mohan, Roshni Agarwal, Yashu Agarwal, Ashwini Narasimha and few others.

WHERE? MOP VAISHNAV COLLEGE FOR WOMAN, Chennai.

GODESSESS 3:

The work goddesses. The time you come out of college and get in to the BIG BLACK WORLD. The time when you do not know whom to trust and whom not to… The time when the responsibilities increase as a lady… The time when you rent half your day with strangers… It is scary, especially in a world of today. Whom do you trust and whom you don’t. Being a woman in the ocean of sharks is not easy. The most dangerous are the fellow women colleagues. Thankfully I have had few colleagues who made my life better. The kind with whom you can discuss the problems with your boss knowing it would remain with them. The kind you just TRUST.

WHO? Rinku Christopher and Mitchell Dudani

WHERE? Can’t name companies.

GODESSESS 4:

The three idiots, which is how we call ourselves… The kind you meet in a different environment but realize you are better off as best friends than anything else. The kind who hears your personal problems and tells you it is going to be ok. The kind who gives your share for the group lunch if you have no cash and does not bother to ask you. The kind who sends pictures in whatsapp for every new dress, footwear, accessories bought. The kind who tells you on your face when you have gone wrong….The kind whom you want to wrap in your palm and not want to let go at all. The kind who adds so much positivity in your life….

WHO? Anitha Subhash and Swapna Ram

WHERE? ABC, Bangalore.

GODESSESS 5:

The firangi goddess… The world is one small place. The boundaries between the countries are in our mind. When you are just sipping your Friday night drink, little do you expect to make a friend for life. A friend who is much more than a friend… A soul sister, the twin… A kind who completely transforms the way you think about yourself. The kind who constantly encourages you… The kind you tells you how beautiful you are. .. The kind you draw inspiration from and the kind who empowers you by doing nothing at all. How blessed am I to have someone like her in my life.

WHO? Mae Flores.

WHERE? TGIF, Bangalore.

GODESSESS 6:

It comes a time in life when you need something more. When you feel something is missing and ponder what that is. A time when you are craving for that extra spice, the time you realize that spice is nothing but madness and being crazy. The phase in my life, when I needed someone who is just like me and to be with someone as myself… Then came along the crazy women who were not just as crazy as me but much much more… The bunch with who you can talk about periods, positions, other girl friends. The kind who are so crazy that it might become a crime. The kind who is just there for you no matter what… The kind who will turn into a monster if someone points a finger at you. The kind who will hate someone because you hate that person too… The kind who makes everyday living much better… The kind who is an integral part of my inner most circle and everyday life. The kind I call FAMILY.

WHO? Preeti Maneesh, Kinnary Patel, Shugufta Drabu.

WHERE? Bangalore.

Well well well, these are the goddesses who made a difference in my life and that too for the best. I’m just too glad to have known them and to be surrounded by them and I cannot wait to add more to the list for there are miles to go before I sleep, there are miles to go before I sleep.

Posted in love, pain

Minus you…

I looked up and the clouds passed by;
Holding hands, nature can be such a tease;
I looked beside and the birds chirp happily;
The times I wished I had wings to fly back;

The length of the nails shortened;
The breadth of the days widened;
I shamelessly opened the door;
Wishing it takes me to yesterday;

Love is in the air, they say;
I breathe harder, but no trace of you;
Love is blind, we all know;
I close my eyes only for you to open them;

They say death is worse;
Without you here, I live like a corpse;
I shed a tear wishing you were near;
This could be fatal, that’s all I fear;

You are the serendipity of my life;
This loneliness kills like a knife;
You are my something old, borrowed and blue;
How this happened, well, I have no clue;

Till death we part, this feels beyond;
You are the happyness that I pursue;
Sleep is the answer, you remain the question;
Love is an art, for those with a heart;

My heart erupts like a volcano;
My eyes raise the like ocean;
My legs run like the winds;
Oh Mother Nature, you are within me;

Where are you, my love?
Hurry up, for the stallion is ready;
I hope I’m doing ok there,
For you are dying here;

Posted in life, love

Within…

When I see the waves in the ocean:
I wash my sins a little more.
When I see the rainbow peeking outside;
I see my reflection in the nature.
When I see a charcoal beaten to a diamond;
I feel a thud on my head.
When I see a mighty phoenix;
I get burnt and then reborn again.
When I see a butterfly;
I go in search of my cocoon.
When I see a bird flying high;
I search for my wings within.
When I see a lioness taming herself;
I stroke my hair and smile.
When I see the hands of the clock ticking;
I suspend with my life and live a little more;
When I feel the tear in the corner;
I remind myself I’m not a tree.
When I see a lone elephant;
I go in search of my friends.
When I see the big Banyan tree;
I learn to bend towards humbleness.
When I see the Chinese bamboo;
I strengthen my roots within.
When I see my shadow;
I look for the light beside me.

I’m the ocean and the waves;
I’m the mountain and the caves;
I’m the pen and the sword;
I’m the hate and the love;
I’m the sun and the rain;
I’m the life and the death;
I’m the sorrow and the joy;
I’m the wind and the leaves;
I’m the Dharma and the Karma;

P.S – My attempt on something that sounds/reads like a poem. This is a reflection of self. This is looking inwards. This is ME. This is about me, the strongest woman I know.

Posted in humour, love

Ten pointers to be a best friend :)

1. You get a call at 3 in the morning . You pick up the phone knowing it would be a silly topic to talk. If you are married, you pick it up anyways and talk under the bedspread or go to another room 😉 coz it can’t wait till the morning 🙂

2. In a crowd, you support her and laugh at her jokes and encourage others to laugh knowing it is a stupid joke, But give her a beating when no one is around.

3. You know all the things about her. Her sex life, her PMS cycle, her mother in law torture and her husband’s new sexy lady colleague. Basically you are the shadow and the mirror she looks at times of sorrow and happyness 🙂

4. You lie to your other friends that you are busy doing house chores but secretly meet up and gossip about the other friends.

5. You are the only one to know many things that nobody else knows in her life. Not even her husband. You know her secret fantasies and fetishes and dark secrets.

6. You praise her boy friend when she is in love with him and curse him if they break up without even knowing whose side the mistake is.

7. You have a secret way to communicate that nobody else in the room understands. She looks at you and looks at somebody else and you will know exactly what she is thinking.

8. You will know when she is upset without her telling a word. You know the meaning of her replies. There is a difference between “K” “OK” and “OKIE” 🙂 when she replies.

9. You are among the first ones to like all her status updates and pictures no matter how stupid they are and when you do not like them , you get a What’sapp message asking you to like it immediately.

10. You both move on in life. Change cities. Change countries. Meet new people. Make new friends. But you are constantly being compared to the other friends and nobody is quite like you.

I dedicate this to my best friend. I won’t name her but she knows it is HER.

PS- To all the men, I don’t know how friendship works between two guys. Im guessing it’s far more simpler and everything is solved over a beer 🙂

Posted in life, love

Myths of a working woman !

I had to write about this when a friend of mine said working woman have a better life compared to a woman sitting at home. While I don’t deny the fact that working women have more exposure to the world outside and meet different people, I disagree to the fact that the lives of working women are a piece of cake. Here are the common myths that I want to touch upon on working women.

Working women cannot cook.

As much as we love to grab a bite off the fast food counter across the food court for lunch, we equally enjoy home cooking as well. Please do not cast us saying we do not know how to cook just because we do not spend four hours in the kitchen trying to cook the perfect meal to welcome the husband home for lunch. We may spend lesser time but we love cooking too.

Working women cannot be idle.

Who said this….? Ask us and we will tell you how much we crave for a weekday holiday. We are the ones to celebrate an independence day that falls on a Wednesday than anyone else. Agreed we love to keep ourselves occupied but we also equally love to laze around and watch the saas bahu serial once in a while.

Working women sleep their way to success.

I agree the casting couch exists in the corporate world, no denying that but please do not come to a conclusion that a woman employee got the promotion because she has the assets. We take all the crap and do those extra hours of work to complete the project and work as hard as the men do. Start accepting the fact that women are intelligent and that’s why the promotions happen. We love being on top, I meant in the corporate ladder.

Working women are more look conscious.

This is the most ridiculous myth. People say the beauty parlours run because the working women spend hours to look good for the outside world. Agreed but what about the packed parlours in the weekday afternoons? The women at home love to look good and groom themselves as much as we do, in fact I would say they take more time in grooming themselves for the kitty parties and the dinners with their neighbours.

Working women are less conservative.

Because we work in the middle of a group of men in a closed office space does not make us any less traditional than the women at home. In fact we take more care in ensuring we are well within the boundaries of our tradition given the distractions that surround us. I have friends who are working but far more orthodox in thoughts compared to my other women friends who are non-working. Being traditional is nothing to do with your employment status; it is more to do with the mind.

Working women are career hungry.

Perhaps the biggest myth is this. We work for various reasons. When I hear men say working women can never be housewives, I want to spank him, on his face (what were you thinking?)

Some of us work to keep ourselves occupied. Some of us work to be independent and not ask for petty cash to the man. Most of us work because we need to share the financial constraints as being a part of the family. Paying an EMI of 50000 every month is not east having a single course of income and kids going to school. We help the man to ease the financial pressure. Give us a choice and we will quit our jobs and happily sit at home and take care of the more important things in life.

Well, these are the myths that came to my mind. I may have slipped a few. Do not look at us and feel jealous. We wake up early, prepare the kids for school. Take that Volvo bus/car and travel in the crazy traffic and look at the face of a boss who is least interested in how bad your morning was. Finish a hectic day and come back home and prepare dinner and listen to the school stories of the kids and listen to the husband and feed his thirst off and on the bed irrespective of how hard our day has been and still smile the next day morning in the mirror.

Stop judging us, we know bhajans as much as you do and you know fashion as much as we do 😉

Posted in life, love

Stay Unfair. Stay Beautiful.

The idea to write this blog occurred at 6 am while I was watching a tele-marketing program that endorsed a product to become fair in 7 days. It did not stop just there; the life scenario that was portrayed in the ad was so shocking an depressing to say the least. An “unfair” lady walks into an office for a interview and parallel a “fair” lady walks through the door, guess who got the job? The fairer one…! How unfair no?

 The narrow mindedness, the racism, the changing thoughts about skin colour, the fetish for flawless fake fair skin. Where is the advertisement world heading to…? Where are the women heading to? Indians spend around 3200 crore INR every year for fairer skin. That is a lot of dark skin going down the drain; no wonder mother earth is getting prettier by the day!

To equalise the colour ratio, fairness creams for men has become a cult as well. Celebrities endorsing fairness creams that show how fairer people get jobs easily, find girls quickly, achieve more in life etc. All of this at just Rs.10/- per tube. Wow, I always knew success has a price to pay but did not know it was this ‘cheap’…!

How fair is this? Make it more interesting by buying a fairness meter! Yes, you can actually measure how fair your skin becomes through the magic of a plastic card that has the skin colour from dark to fair painted on it. The world is getting so technologically advanced but yet, the Indian ads will stick to paper cards to measure the skin colour and we Indians will buy it.

If the ads have to be true, then 64% of the Indian women today should be fair. I have not seen one woman actually declare that she got a job interview or got married or achieved success after her skin got fairer. Funny thing is, I see the same models marketing different brands. In one ad, she is the doctor who examines your skin and prescribes the product and in another ad, she is the woman to try on the product. Our foolishness sure makes a lot of people rich.

There is a difference between healthy skin and fairer skin. Both are NOT the same. You need not be fair to have a healthy skin.

I’m not a huge fan of Sharukh Khan, but I adored him for what he was and where he is now. It is hard work and I agree. However, when I saw him endorse a fairness cream that portrays success comes for fairer men, I was speechless. A man who made it BIG in life with his Indian skin colour which is not FAIR and endorsing a fairness cream because he can make BIG bucks sounded wrong at all levels.

Celebrities endorse products because they earn the Big bucks in it not because they used it and reaped the benefits. Nelson Mandela, Oprah, Morgan freeman, Queen Latifah, Konkana Sen and our very own Rajnikanth is proof enough that you don’t need to be fair to be successful in life.

What world do we live in? When someone said, “life is fair” they did not mean this people…! Confidence and beauty comes from within and never lies on the skin. Beauty is skin deep, literally…! I wish some company came up with a cream to change fairer skin to a darker one…!

It is everywhere, blatant and brutal reinforcement that only FAIR is lovely and the rest is trash. I wish women know that men still go by “beauty is within” saying…! I would like to tell all the women out there to be not so stumpy in their thoughts about beauty. Beauty is what lies beneath that skin. It is the way you feel about yourself. Be who you are. BE beautiful. Be Bold. Be blunt. Be all of what you want to be in your SKIN.

Be proud of your colour…! Love is colourless and so is success…!

Stay UNFAIR. Stay BEAUTIFUL.

Posted in life, love

50 shades of happyness :)

Shade 1 – Give more love than you receive

Shade 2 – Smile Often

Shade 3 – Eliminate hate

Shade 4 – Pray, it reassures you can do it

Shade 5 – Love yourself

Shade 6 – Adopt a Child and/or a Pet

Shade 7 – Plant a sapling

Shade 8 – Feel the winds

Shade 9 –Hugging your mother

Shade 10 – Listen to the waves

Shade 11 – Chase the sun

Shade 12 – Do a good deed everyday

Shade 13 – Go on a holiday, alone

Shade 14 – Love Nature

Shade 15 – Watch “Friends” marathon

Shade 16 – Eat Mother’s food

Shade 17 – Make friends more than enemies

Shade 18 – Indulge in chocolate

Shade 19 – Believe in yourself

Shade 20 – Be more spiritual and less religious

Shade 21 – Hope

Shade 22 – Be childlike, not childish

Shade 23 – Wear new clothes

Shade 24 – Cry at times

Shade 25 – Love yourself

Shade 26 – Fall in love

Shade 27 – Snooze the morning alarm, many times

Shade 28 – Fail often and Rise more than you fall

Shade 29 – Smile at your mistakes

Shade 30 – Always show up

Shade 31 – Visit a church

Shade 32 – Getting a public holiday on a Friday

Shade 33 – Drink Filter Coffee

Shade 34 – Bunk work on a Monday

Shade 35 – Watch a play

Shade 36 – Go on a long drive

Shade 37 – Go crazy

Shade 38 – Learn something new

Shade 39 – Dance

Shade 40 – Carry a notepad in your bag, write when you travel

Shade 41 – Sing along with a song

Shade 42 – Listen to illayaraja

Shade 43 – Talking in Tamil

Shade 44 – Baking a cake

Shade 45 – Spending time with “you”

Shade 46 – Sharing your lunch

Shade 47 – Spend time with babies

Shade 48 – Serendipity

Shade 49 – Making someone else smile

Shade 50 – Doing what you love

These are my shades of happiness. Yours can and will be different. But remember to find those shades and ensure they never fade away. If it does, color it again…! 

Posted in love

The Bong connection…!

The BONG CONNECTION..!!

Well… it was a normal Saturday evening and I was at my favorite place in Bangalore doing what I love… serving people 🙂 .. yeah plus its free food… The climate is great… The place is awesome… earthy lighting.. Wooden benches and yes yummy food…! I see this woman approach and ask “do u work here” and I kept looking at her but then answered quickly to avoid embarrassment and said “No I volunteer here and basically jobless“ and she gave this look which basically said “ OK weirdo” kind… she also guessed im from Chennai, thanks to my English…!! (NO, not in a good way)

But as I saw her sitting on the bench with her friend, I couldn’t help but talk to them and get into a conversation…So these two woman were from else where and tented in Bangalore for study and work… So I had to start the conversation with a joke…What? I’m Sharada, humor is all I have! So, yeah we three got talking and before we knew, we were laughing on the floor..!

It feels so lovely striking random conversations with people and u see it extending to couple of hours and realize that there is so much in common…Strangers are friends we haven’t made yet… its been so long I had such a good conversation with someone and I connected so instantly…!

Hearing new stories and new experiences of other people lives and knowing what makes them who they are is just wonderful and being able to share my life experiences with them was lovely… Both of them are so warm, funny and wont stop laughing at me…! At times, I said nothing and they still laughed…!

They took an hour to guess my name, well that was after i gave away 6 alphabets in it!!! I said my name is one of the thousand names of the goddess in Hindu religion and this woman i met guessed shakira…! Both of them inspired me in different ways but this one woman whom I could not take my eyes off… she had this fantastic charm and the aura she brought around her was just contagious in a good way…

The first that got me attracted to her was her hair… silky… short…sexy…. And secondly her hands…really… i know its crazy, but that is me!! She resembles Ellen DeGeneres to the T and for a minute i thought i should be Portia De Rossi…! 🙂 She just looks like a package to me 🙂

She has the most intoxicating laugh I have seen ever, actually she freaks me out at times when she laughs when nobody around her is talking as well…!

As we got talking, I realized there were so many similarities… She loves travel, arts, theater too… She does not believe in religion, I mean she does but not in the conventional way which is so much like me..! She loves nature as much as I do… she hates working as much I do… She is crazy as much as im… it feels like I met her at the right time…when I needed a friend and little more than a friend too… she is just beautiful, oh yes, outside as well…

The more I spoke to her, the more I realized I need to talk more and know her more…and ended up talking for hours.. I instantly connected with her and the vibes were so positive… she had her magic on me… something about her… this woman I met… for the first time… but I never felt such a connection with anyone at all…

I want to say a BIG thank you to myself to be able to get tuned to her frequency and know the wonderful person that she is… I’m sure this will go a long way!!

A new found friend, companion, soul mate and a wonderful person..!

This Woman I met….!