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Hello sperm !

Hello!

This is probably a first that a mother is talking to the yet to take a human form sperm. Well I thought let’s begin early. I want to tell you few things before I let you occupy my body. Because once you do, you sort of become my responsibility. You know the world that I live in, I’ll be called your mother. Your biological mother. The one who let you grow inside her only to unleash you to the cruel ugly world. I’m pretty sure you’re going to curse me later about that bit. You were happily swimming in your pool of life and thud, you need to make defisions between sky blue shirts and pink socks.

So here is the deal, I’m a working professional. I have crazy work schedules that fries my brain and dims my soul. I write. Most of the times. That’s all I do. During the day, i write to feed my stomach and during the night, I write to feed my heart. I’m going to be 36 and I haven’t met you yet. You must know the world is judging and mocking me already. Your sneaky grand aunts and uncles are asking if you are a healthy sperm and if I have a healthy pool to let you swim. Most of the times I ward the questions away. But sometimes it gets to me. It gets to me so much that I cringe and cry and shout. Not having a great uterus does not make me any less of a human. But hey, welcome to the real world. I’m having crazy mood swings than I used to. I like fewer people than I used to. I’m sorry but you gotta make peace with the fact that you won’t be having too many cousins to play with. Tada, may I introduce called dogs.

You should make peace with many things once you get out. Firstly with the society. You know the place I live in, there is a sect called people. A sect that you may not be aware of. These are are the people who have a laundry list of how I should be as a mother.

I must put you ahead of me. I must forego things I like to do. I must ensure that I’am around you 24×7 or at least think of you all the time. You must become the centre of my world. I need to plan my weekends based on how you want it to be. I need to compromise on sleep and sex. I need to make peace with being put into the ‘MILF’ category by a certain sect of people. These people are the ones who mock me for being fat but also stare at my big breasts. These people are the ones who will tell you what is wrong with you even before you figure out what the word wrong means.

Oh wait. Did I tell you about your father? He is a biker and a tourer. The coolest dad one could ask for. I have never seen a man who is as good hearted as him. If you turn out to be half as good as he is, I’d be glad. Did you know you have a big brother and sister? They are called Ritchie and Kalki. Unlike you, they have four legs that are full of fur and love. I may probably always put them ahead of you. I’m pretty sure they will love you more than anyone else.

I was also told that I must put all my life savings to make sure you get everything you want. If only your mother knew what savings even meant. *insert rolling eyes smiley*. I need to put you in a school which is the most competitive and makes sure children are classified based on grades. Also, do you know how bloody expensive, cheap education in India is? I wish you come with some pre paid card dude. I must also decide what graduation course you should study and pay for you to attend extra classes from grade 7 to top the school and get into the best universities. I must also make sure you are well taken care financially <heavy laughs> before you decide to start earning. And then I must tell you to marry and give me grandchildren.

But let me tell you, I ain’t all this. I’m not going to teach you any of this. What I will teach you is to differentiate jerks from the good ones. I will teach you how you should never take pride of your caste. You should understand what sexism and feminism means. You should respect people of all castes and communities. I will not raise you saying you’re a man so you can be how you want to be. I’ll teach you how to make a good morning coffee and you shall do so going forward. I’ll want to have some nights with my husband and you shall leave the room. I will have vacations to take and you will be taken care by someone trust worthy. I don’t want you to worship me. Don’t treat me like God. Don’t over do your love for me. Treat me with respect like how will treat a fellow human.

I will make sure you are comfortable. If you aren’t happy going to school, I will help you learn something else to keep you occupied. I will not tell you what to do and what not to do. I will not raise you like how I was raised. My mother’s world revolves around me and she has done nothing for hetslef. I’m not doing all that to you honey. I’ll be around you. I’ll tell you what clothes you look good in. If you like someone of the same sex, I’ll say yes. If u like someone of the opposite sex, I’ll say yes too. Your choice completely. Let’s not make one another a baggage or I must say, a dependency. Let’s live independently and happily. Let’s learn to live without one another.

I’ll be a kickass mom. Probably not the kind of mother defined by the society. But I’ll be what I need to be with you. I’ll be your mother and I’ll a be other things. It’s just another role I play in life. Just like how I love my writings, I will love you because you are my a piece of my work too. A piece that I will love, adore, cherish and let go at the right time.

Fly away son, I will not give you the wings but I will cut the branch you’re sitting on. That’s how you’ll grow and I’ll watch you grow from a distance. The distance between the waves and the shore.

I will keep rewriting this letter until I see you. I’m growing old and so are you. I may never be able to see you or maybe I will. I don’t know. But whatever the case maybe, please be known that your father and I love you.

For now, happy swimming.

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mindless thoughts & thoughtless mind...!

7 thoughts on “Hello sperm !

  1. Good post. I agree with most of things you have mentioned. Some phrases are lovely “cut the branch” being one of them. 🙂 Parenthood is a balanced deal. Parents have started playing the martyr nowadays and this is a post that reminds them of who they are. However, once you are a parent the child does come before you for all important matters. Given a choice between your happiness and your child’s the child should come first. I am not talking about superficial aspects here. A child is sensitive and beautiful and learning his/her way through life. Hence utmost care should be given to him/her. Parents are their first exposure to the world, their safe place, their security blanket. So once you have a child you have to do whatever it takes to make them feel safe and happy. Childhood is the only time where a human is not accountable for their own happiness. We owe the children that. The carefree world they deserve. So whatever it takes for a parent to do that they owe it to the babies to do that. No excuse. Nothing doing 🙂 However, I am all for smart parenting than slogging it out being a martyr. Hope that makes sense. 🙂

  2. Great writing.. Good thoughts on motherhood.. Follow it, your kid will love u in the way u want to.. Just don’t stop being a Frnd of him.. The next generation kids doesn’t need the so called motherly love, they just need a Frnd at home to support them in their life andto guide them… Don’t simply fly, fly with colours… All the best..

  3. Interesting post:) While I love your spirit, I did want to point out a couple of things. A baby certainly does not share the mother’s body independently! He is dependent on the mother for everything. From the air the mother breathes, to what to she eats and even what she thinks (stress levels/hormones etc) affects the baby deeply and can affect the child’s very survival. So, I am not sure that analogy works very well.

    Mothers do not do all the things mentioned in the 4th and 5th paragraph because society expects them to. For most mothers, it happens naturally. I always thought that Elizabeth Stone succinctly summed up motherhood when she said “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” It is very apt, it is exactly how most mothers feel.

    Lastly please don’t discount your mother’s life’s work of bringing you up. She has created a strong, independent, successful human being in you and I can’t think of any achievement that is greater that that!

    1. Iam so glad to read whatever you cited. The dependency inside the womb was a metaphor to say let’s just go back to bring u and me.

      Most women.. I repeat most women are forced to do things bevause they need to. There is a certain natural bonding that happens but most mother’s do sacrifices that aren’t what they want but need to.

      My mother is an epitome of kindness dignity and strength but she gave all of herself to me. All her life to me. So much sacrifice and so much space for me and so little for herself. I would never be able to forgive myself for having been the reason for her to let go of her passion and desires for me

      1. I have to disagree with you that most women sacrifice for their children because they are forced to. That might be a minority but I doubt if that is “most”.

        I have sometimes felt that many people (in the name of feminism) downgrade the achievements of women who choose to be mothers first or only mothers (as in stay at home moms). Why do people think that they are wasting their life if they choose such a life ? I understand that for some, maybe even many people it is not a choice and that is sad and wrong.

        But it is the choice that is important. I believe myself to be a strong independent woman myself. I am well educated and capable of having a high-powered career if that is what I wanted to do with my life. But I chose not to because I find motherhood so much more fulfilling. I cannot count the number of times people tell me that I am wasting my talents and my time due to my choice. What is important is that I have the choice and not what I choose. This kind of reverse discrimination happens all the time as well. I don’t personally know your mother like you but I wanted to point out that for some people being a mother first might be what they want for themselves.

  4. It is a well written piece. Guess it was written to be agreed by a very small subset of people[young feminists yet to experience motherhood]. I do not agree with a lot of things here.

    The first part of the article suggests that putting oneself ahead of the child/planning weekends around the kid/having less sex has a causal effect on your kid asking you to move away and being worried only about your assets.

    ‘It’s my biological nature to carry a human inside. And the human happens to be you.’… ‘I will love you because you are a piece of my work too.’…. Strong words… Not many mothers will feel agree with this. May be not even you once you experience motherhood.

    The whole tone of the article suggests making sacrifices for a child and having fun are mutually exclusive. I do not agree to this at all. I’m going to come out strong here. Ask your mother or any mother you know, ‘Given a choice.. Will they take back the sacrifices they made for their children for little more fun in their life or a great career?’ How many ‘yes’ will you get?

    Just my take. No offense meant.

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