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Hello sperm !

Hello!

This is probably a first that a futuristic mother is talking to the yet to take a human form sperm. Well I thought let’s begin early. I want to tell you few things before I let you occupy my body. Because once you do, you sort of become my responsibility. You know the world that I live in, I’ll be called your mother. Your biological mother. The one who let’s you grow inside her  and leashes you to the cruel ugly world. I’m pretty sure you’re going to curse me later that being a sperm was way better off. No fear of being judged no? Happily swimming in your pool of life.

So here is the deal ok. I’m a working professional. I love going out. Meeting people. Partying. Late night parties mostly. I also love lazing at home. Waking up without an alarm. I’m hyper active and also utterly lazy. An oxymoronish woman I must say. I have my plate full. But if I ever get to share space with you, there are certain things you must make peace with.

Firstly the society. You know the place I live in, there are people all around. People who have a proper list of terms and conditions of who a perfect mother is.

I must put you ahead of me. I must forego things I like to do for you. I must ensure that i’am around you 24×7 or at least think of you all the time. You must become the centre of my world. I need to plan my weekends based on how you want it to be. My Saturday nights with my husband wouldn’t be as how it used to be. We will have lesser sex because you will be between us.

I should make it a point to mention to people how you are the apple of my eye and how life before you was not great. Oh yes, the most important thing is that I just think and say and feel that ‘you complete me’ because earlier I sort of had just three limbs. I must save my life savings to make sure you get everything you want. I must stay awake late nights to make you a cup of tea to help you stand first in class. To put in the best school which is the most competitive and makes sure children are classified based on grades. And before you decide, I must decide for you what graduation course you should study and pay for you to attend extra classes from grade 7 to top the school and get into the best universities. I must also make sure you are well taken care financially before you decide to start earning. And then I must tell you to marry and give me grandchildren. You will ask me to be the caretaker for them so that you can vacation with your wife.

And then one fine day when I’m old and shrunk, you will want me to move away. And then in my death bed, you’ll want to know my  investments and their maturity date. (Though I want to whack and tell you that most of it has gone in bringing you up). See, that’s motherhood for you.

But let me tell you dear, I ain’t all this. I’am ambitious and i like my space. I have my things to do. I’am not giving up my passion to raise you. I’ll teach you how to make a good morning coffee and you shall do so going forward. I’ll want to have some nights with my husband and you shall leave the room. I will have vacations to take with my girls and you will be taken care by someone trust worthy. I don’t want you to worship me. Don’t treat me like God. It’s my biological nature to carry a human inside. And the human happens to be you. Don’t over do your love for me. Treat me with respect like how will treat a fellow human.

I will make sure you are comfortable. If you aren’t happy going to school, I will help you learn something else to keep you occupied. I will not tell you what to do and what not to do. I will not raise you like how I was raised. My mother’s world revolves around me and she has done nothing but work for me to lead a good life. I’m not doing all that honey. I’ll be around you. I’ll tell you what clothes you look good in. If you like someone of the same sex, I’ll gladly support.  If you want to do farming, I’ll make sure you give me the vegetables to cook. Let’s not make one another a baggage or I must say, a dependency. Let’s live independently and happily. Let’s learn to live without one another.

I’ll be a kickass mom. Probably not the kind of mother defined by the society. But I’ll be what I need to be with you. I’ll be your mother and I’ll a be other things. It’s just another role I play in life. Like a writer, how I show love to my work, I will love you because you are a piece of my work too. A piece that I will love, adore, cherish and let go at the right time. Fly away son, I will not give you the wings but I will cut the branch you’re sitting on.  That’s how you’ll grow and I’ll watch you grow from a distance. The distance between the waves and the shore.

Don’t stay in my shadow. I don’t want that. Fly high. I will fly too. Let’s have a happy life and not tie each other with the overly blown up bond of mother and son relationship. Let’s share the space independently just like our womb days. Grow and let me also grow.

For now, happy swimming.

Bye bye.

Ps- the above will not change even if I had written it to a daughter. But the daughter-mother relationship is so over done already and I didn’t want to make it look like its forced with feminism.

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mindless thoughts & thoughtless mind...!

7 thoughts on “Hello sperm !

  1. Good post. I agree with most of things you have mentioned. Some phrases are lovely “cut the branch” being one of them. 🙂 Parenthood is a balanced deal. Parents have started playing the martyr nowadays and this is a post that reminds them of who they are. However, once you are a parent the child does come before you for all important matters. Given a choice between your happiness and your child’s the child should come first. I am not talking about superficial aspects here. A child is sensitive and beautiful and learning his/her way through life. Hence utmost care should be given to him/her. Parents are their first exposure to the world, their safe place, their security blanket. So once you have a child you have to do whatever it takes to make them feel safe and happy. Childhood is the only time where a human is not accountable for their own happiness. We owe the children that. The carefree world they deserve. So whatever it takes for a parent to do that they owe it to the babies to do that. No excuse. Nothing doing 🙂 However, I am all for smart parenting than slogging it out being a martyr. Hope that makes sense. 🙂

  2. Great writing.. Good thoughts on motherhood.. Follow it, your kid will love u in the way u want to.. Just don’t stop being a Frnd of him.. The next generation kids doesn’t need the so called motherly love, they just need a Frnd at home to support them in their life andto guide them… Don’t simply fly, fly with colours… All the best..

  3. Interesting post:) While I love your spirit, I did want to point out a couple of things. A baby certainly does not share the mother’s body independently! He is dependent on the mother for everything. From the air the mother breathes, to what to she eats and even what she thinks (stress levels/hormones etc) affects the baby deeply and can affect the child’s very survival. So, I am not sure that analogy works very well.

    Mothers do not do all the things mentioned in the 4th and 5th paragraph because society expects them to. For most mothers, it happens naturally. I always thought that Elizabeth Stone succinctly summed up motherhood when she said “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” It is very apt, it is exactly how most mothers feel.

    Lastly please don’t discount your mother’s life’s work of bringing you up. She has created a strong, independent, successful human being in you and I can’t think of any achievement that is greater that that!

    1. Iam so glad to read whatever you cited. The dependency inside the womb was a metaphor to say let’s just go back to bring u and me.

      Most women.. I repeat most women are forced to do things bevause they need to. There is a certain natural bonding that happens but most mother’s do sacrifices that aren’t what they want but need to.

      My mother is an epitome of kindness dignity and strength but she gave all of herself to me. All her life to me. So much sacrifice and so much space for me and so little for herself. I would never be able to forgive myself for having been the reason for her to let go of her passion and desires for me

      1. I have to disagree with you that most women sacrifice for their children because they are forced to. That might be a minority but I doubt if that is “most”.

        I have sometimes felt that many people (in the name of feminism) downgrade the achievements of women who choose to be mothers first or only mothers (as in stay at home moms). Why do people think that they are wasting their life if they choose such a life ? I understand that for some, maybe even many people it is not a choice and that is sad and wrong.

        But it is the choice that is important. I believe myself to be a strong independent woman myself. I am well educated and capable of having a high-powered career if that is what I wanted to do with my life. But I chose not to because I find motherhood so much more fulfilling. I cannot count the number of times people tell me that I am wasting my talents and my time due to my choice. What is important is that I have the choice and not what I choose. This kind of reverse discrimination happens all the time as well. I don’t personally know your mother like you but I wanted to point out that for some people being a mother first might be what they want for themselves.

  4. It is a well written piece. Guess it was written to be agreed by a very small subset of people[young feminists yet to experience motherhood]. I do not agree with a lot of things here.

    The first part of the article suggests that putting oneself ahead of the child/planning weekends around the kid/having less sex has a causal effect on your kid asking you to move away and being worried only about your assets.

    ‘It’s my biological nature to carry a human inside. And the human happens to be you.’… ‘I will love you because you are a piece of my work too.’…. Strong words… Not many mothers will feel agree with this. May be not even you once you experience motherhood.

    The whole tone of the article suggests making sacrifices for a child and having fun are mutually exclusive. I do not agree to this at all. I’m going to come out strong here. Ask your mother or any mother you know, ‘Given a choice.. Will they take back the sacrifices they made for their children for little more fun in their life or a great career?’ How many ‘yes’ will you get?

    Just my take. No offense meant.

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