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I refuse.

Apples 200/- a kilo, he said at the supermarket. Little did I know, mine was on display too.
As the merciless wind blew my golden glazed saree for my bosom to show, he had forgotten they were the same place that quenched his infant thirst. The ones his mother shared with him with a hope that he would look at them with respect, not objects on sale.

I’am not a phoenix. I’am not a parrot.

I’am not the moon. I’am not the sun.

I’am not the sita. I’am not the dhasi.

Lipsticks, cheek stains and pretty pearls. With my hair bouncing in its new curls. Malls are a great place to shop, or so I thought.
Until you snapped me, pressed my core and the stains touched my lips and soul.

I’am not an angel. I’am not the devil.

I’am not a barbie. I’am not a catwoman.

I’am not spilled paint on the floor. I’am not the graffiti on the wall.

Red embroidered dress. Hair plaited prettily with eyes twinkling divinity.
As I look up to my counterpart with pride. With my hands held in complete meditation, you grab my hips for your minor erection.
I stand there watching hope take a U turn. Oh woman, don’t you see what’s happening to me? Stone hearted, are you? Oh well, I see.

I’am not a goddess. I’m not a gothika.

I’am not your poison. I’am not your elixir.

I’am not the wild orchid. I’am not a pile of trash.

As the clock struck nine, just like the hardworking bee, I flap my wings to conquer the world.
As dreams and desires like a well painted canvas, I walk with success sitting on my shoulder. Only to be known the other touched by you. A part of me died, with it hope too.
I’am not the light. I’am not the darkness.

I’am not good. I’am not evil.

I’am not a doormat. I’am not the temple bell.

I’am not your mother. I’am not your sister.

I don’t need to be.

I refuse to be in the hierarchy of this patriarchy. I refuse to be held responsible for being who I need to be. I refuse to be a goddess. I refuse having to confess.
I refuse to walk in fear. I refuse to shed another tear.
I refuse to be the mannequin by the window. I refuse to be your shadow.
I refuse to slavery.
I refuse to lead the way. I refuse to be the role model of your dreams.

I refuse to play any other role other than being ME.

I refuse.

I refuse.

I refuse to submit.
I refuse to succumb.
I refuse the silence.
I refuse to go back to my creator without a soul.

All I ask for you is to treat me like human.
Treat me like you would treat yourself.
Let’s coexist. Let’s create humanity together.
Let’s. Let’s be who we were meant to be.
Let’s. Just be.

Let me just be ME.



mindless thoughts & thoughtless mind...!

2 thoughts on “I refuse.

  1. The power in this piece– Sharada. Don’t we people become invincible when we confess, with pride, we are who we are, not what others presume of us? Inspired 🙂

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