Change is constant. This mainly applies to human beings. You are friends with someone from the age of 10 and now they u both are at 30. Twenty years is a lot of time for someone to change, mature, grow and some don’t grow at all. They are not the same as they used to be when you both were fifteen year olds. She/ he does not like the same things. Preferences have changed. Preferences in music, movies, food
and people have changed. They have become more outgoing. They have shunned to themselves. They have grown thin. Grown fat. Grown wise. Grown foolish. Everything is different. There are newer people in their life. People who you are not aware of. Those who are making a difference to their lives more than what you did when you were in high school. You are not accessible to them as much as before. You have grown apart physically. You belong to different states. Different countries. Sometime you both might be in the same city and still be blocks apart. They have people now who know them better then you. Those who know what they have become. People who know what ticks them off and what puts a smile on their face. Don’t take ownership of them because you know them for decades. No you don’t. Don’t take more rights on their life because you share a relationship of decades. You weren’t there last month when they fell sick. You weren’t there next to them when they battled a break up. No offense meant to you. You were busy battling your own life. You couldn’t go. You didn’t have time to. It’s okay. They understand. Newer people have occupied your life too.
Please understand this, as people age, their preferences differ and their tastes differ. It’s okay if you didn’t know what they are like now. You don’t need to constantly be a part of their life. If you are able to be closer and still be the besties you were, then it’s brilliant. If not, don’t be a bother. Let them be. Let them have their new friends who are there for them at times you were busy with your new friends.
Don’t take this the wrong way. But, you don’t know them anymore. Stop boasting to the world about it. Stop saying you know them better. Do you know what food they like now ? Do you know what breaks their heart? Do you know their midnight cravings? You don’t know and it’s okay if you don’t. They have people who do. Give way. Stop blocking the road. Be nice. Be kind. Be there when needed. Be there when asked to. Don’t show it off. Don’t blow it from the rooftop that you know them since Christ was born. That’s stupid. You are also a part of their life. Maybe your part is over. Maybe you’re still the best friend. Maybe you are not remembered anymore. Maybe you have become a ‘hello’ friend. All of it is OK.
I get it. There was a time when you held primary importance in their life. A time when you took decisions for them. But you don’t need to anymore. They can decide for themselves. They have grown up. Probably grown up to be much better and wiser than what you have. They have other people who they consult to decide big things. Don’t expect to be consulted. You don’t ask them anymore. Do you? So shut up! Be nice. Be happy. Be content. You both have grown apart. Both of you have different choices. Sometimes choices that are against one another. Dont fret. You deal with it with grace. You accept the differences. You understand that’s what humans are made of. You give way for new people in your life and their life.
Next time when someone says something about the person you know for decades, stop saying ” I know him/her more than you do. I’ve seen him/her grow”. Sounds stupid. When you are not there for them everyday today like the others who are, you don’t know them. You knew what they were decades back. Not what they are now.
Deal with the change.