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Victim turned survivor

Life is the only thing that is unpredictable and that is what makes it brilliant enough for everybody to live it at least once. We are all so different and yet so similar. This is so interesting. We all have our own paths to walk to reach our destination. Some don’t even have one and they walk in the roads that leads nowhere and they are so nomadic. Some fix the destination, fix the vehicle and fix the passengers. But can life get that easy? No it isn’t that easy. There are two things common to all of us. The source from where we start and the source we end. The only thing that changes is the journey and the passengers. Some come along with us from the beginning and some leave in the middle. Some make the journey a happy ride and some make it miserable. But why do we travel with someone who makes it miserable? It is your vehicle and your journey and you are the driver of it and you need to know who is worth keeping with and who needs to get out. But there is only one person who would travels till the end, any guess who? It is YOU and nobody else. It is so important to ensure you are happy in your journey, as much as you love to give them good company, if you are not enjoying where you are heading to, believe me, you can never keep the co passengers happy. This I say with some experience life threw on me.

For most part of my life, I only strived to keep others happy. To ensure they laugh and smile but little did I hear the voices screaming inside my head waiting to get out and taste the same happiness. Trust me; it is not fair to be unhappy to urself even though you give happiness to others. Happiness is like charging your battery; you can only give when you have it. If you run out of it, you alone can recharge and nobody else can do that for you. I understood this late but its better late than never. Life has been nothing less than a roller coaster for me. I’m sure it has been one for all of you. We can never overrate our problems to be the biggest until we know what someone else is going through. For a baby, the biggest problem in life is fixing a toy. For a teen, it is low grades. For an adolescent, it is a pimple on the face. For a mother, it is her child. For a husband, it is the job and paying the bills. For a wife, it is the over concerned female colleague of her husband. How do you compare one problem to another? How do you rate them with each other? You simply can’t and more so you shouldn’t. The first step is to stop comparing our problem to someone else. Second is to stop comparing our life to someone else. You do not know their journey, so do not compare.

Life can teach you many things, but of all the things the best thing it teaches is to have hope. Each one of us plans what we need to do tomorrow. What dress we need to wear for a function that is after three months. What food to cook in the weekend. Evert night, when we close our eyes, we run a vision of what are the to-do things for the next day. Why do we do all these? How certain is life? HOPE is what keeps us alive and it is what keeps us human. A person who has no hope is no human at all for it is what binds all of us together. It keeps us together and brings us all into the circle of life. When I was going through a rough time, when life was nothing but a big bundle of torture and misery, the only thing I had in my control was to hope and to have faith. I continued to have that every day, every single day when life got from bad to worse, my level of hope increased. The lower the battery is, the longer you need to charge it. The same logic applies here as well.

But, it took some time or me to realize that hope is not all that is needed. God or the super power above us is funny! He/she will always show us a solution for a problem; all we need to do is look closely but more importantly, look within for all the answers lay within us. This came to me pretty late, I searched the length and breadth of everything else but did not search the depth within me and once I did, life became something else. It took a second to see the solution, it is shocking that the solution was within me and once I saw that, the road ahead was so clear and all I could do was laugh about how ignorant I was all the while. The power of one’s mind is limitless and it emerges at times when we give that thought and execute it.

Through all of my life’s experiences, I have failed many around me and at times myself too. What options did life give me? Or should I say what option did I choose to see? End life and be done with it and yes, i tried that and failed in it too. Was it hard? Absolutely yes!! It’s never easy for anyone to die, especially when you plan it. Steve jobs rightly said, nobody wants to die, even the person who knows he is going to heaven does not want to die to go there. It is scary and extremely painful thought to linger within.

I did not seek for help for I knew I alone can help myself. I do not believe in counseling as I feel you are your best counselor for you know what you are going through. The funny part is all of us know the solutions to most of our problems but we are so scared to execute it for the fear of the consequences but it takes faith, a leap of faith to do that and I’m so glad I took that leap of faith and my life has changed forever since then. This is no gyaan or advice but sharing my life experience in a bit for those who are suffering with problems and do not know what to do, my suggestion to you all is look within for everything lies there. You will be surprised how powerful your soul is provided you give it the wings to fly, it will conquer the world. You will be shocked to see how brilliant your mind is when you let it work for you in a positive way; it will show you solutions that you have never dreamt of. It is all within you, the universe is within you. Stop searching elsewhere. Knowing yourself is so important.

Today, I can so proudly tell you how happy I’m with myself. How proud I’m of myself. How I have made myself yearn for happiness all these years not knowing it is within me. The last one year has been a brilliant phase. A phase that taught me how important I’m for my living more than anybody else and how essential it is to keep myself happy before trying to make anyone else happy. The last one year I spent the maximum time with myself and I was amazed to see how much of myself I had not discovered in the last two and half decades. It has been a great journey and I have fallen in love with myself a little more everyday and when you start to love yourself, the world will seem different, the same people around you will seem different. The purpose of life will seem different.They all will seem different, wonderfully different. Positively different… In the last one year, I have made friends more than I have in my entire life. I started to value my parents than ever before. I had the time to give people who mattered the most to me but more importantly I had time for myself.

So, go ahead, fall in love… with yourself… little by little, every day and all the days…! You will be amazed to discover yourself; it is a journey worth traveling. I did it and it has been the best phase of my life. It is never too late, never. Nothing is late when you know there will be another sunrise to wake up to.

LOVE YOURSELF.

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mindless thoughts & thoughtless mind...!

2 thoughts on “Victim turned survivor

  1. “Love yourself,” so simple yet so powerful tip. I’ve started reading your blogs and I get to know more about you through your writing. It’s a good feeling. Keep it up honey.

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