Posted in humour

South Vs North

All south Indians are “Madrasis”…

Probably the oldest mistake made and still largely in use. Just like how you people do not like to be categorized as “north Indians”, similarly we do not like to be categorized as “Madrasis”. Please understand there are four states in South India. Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh and Kerala. Madras (now Chennai) is the capital of Tamil Nadu. I spoke to a friend for a long time and ended up saying ‘…you north Indians…” and she was quick to react saying “I’m from Pune and it is in the west”. And I replied “this is how we feel when you call all of us “Madrasis” and she hung up 🙂

South Indians cannot make Rotis.

A friend of mine posted a pic on Facebook “finally sambhar done, simpler than I thought” and she had the picture of the sambhar she cooked instagrammed with it. I called her immediately and told her it looks good. She replied “yes, better than the rotis you ‘south Indians’ make. This got me angered. Look, we make rotis decently well, people. It may not be as round as the earth but still it matches to one of the planet shape and it tastes well too. Stop mocking us for our Roti making skills. The “Roti Maker” was invented by a north Indian; we were not that lazy to buy a machine to make rotis. Take that!

South Indians are not ‘cool’.

I read an article where it says “south India lack sense in dressing and they don’t know how to talk”. Hey look, I’m an unbiased person by nature but you say things like these, I will hunt you down and kill you with my talking. Just so you know, most percentage of IIT’ans are from Andhra Pradesh, which is FYI in South India. Most of the National Awards were won by a South Indian. The Deepika Padukone, Aishwarya Rai and Anushka Sharma are South Indians but who are now ashamed to call themselves that. Lastly, Rajnikanth is from South India. No one can get cooler than him. Buzz off now. 

South Indians cannot speak Hindi.

This is crazy. I mean seriously CRAZY. We speak our mother tongue here buddy. You come to our part of the country and you make fun of our language. Bangalore, the capital of Karnataka has 65% of you people. I know people living in Bangalore for a decade and do not know a single word of the local language, why is that…?..Because, you guys survive with Hindi, a language which we speak better than you people talking our language. I can hear the mumbling “Hindi is national language”. Yeah sure…! Delhi is our national capital, and Delhi’ites wants to run away from there. Got the message? No? Try translating it in Hindi. 

South Indians have only idli and sambhar.

Ignorance to an extent is tolerable. Idiotism is NOT. A friend of mine who stayed in Chennai for a project called up and said this “arrey kya yaar, all you guys have is Idli, Dosa, Sambhar and Pongal, nothing else. It’s too boring” to which I replied “oh I know how you feel, I felt the same when I was in Delhi few years ago and all they had was Aloo paratha, Aloo Mutter, Aloo cauliflower paratha, Aloo pudina paratha, Aloo paneer paratha and oh did I mention Aloo bonda.” FYI, Times Of India voted “Idli” as the most nutritious breakfast. Take that!

South Indian movies are “B” graded.

Oh, totally agree to this. I mean, of course we make B grade movies. With movies like Bodyguard, Ghajini, Wanted, Ready and of course the famous Chennai Express made individual collections of 200 crore and oh did I mention all these were originally made in south. Chennai express ran because it had “Chennai’ in it. Our Hindi might be “Bawkwasss” but our movies are NOT. We have the most number of national awards winners, Film fare winners and oh did I mention Oscar winner AR Rahman is from South India and he did speak in “Tamil” in his Oscar speech. Of course we make “B” graded movies darling. “BETTER” graded movies.

South Indians are stingy.

An acquaintance of mine said this to me and I have heard few people talking about this too. We south Indians are stingy when it comes to money. That we see the tag ten times before we buy anything. I replied “at least we don’t pin the price tag on the dress while wearing them”. We are not stingy, we are cost conscious and we are smart investors. We may look at the price tag for ten times, but when someone asks we tell them the actual price or probably lesser. We do not buy from Chandni Chowk and claim it to be from Manish Malhotra.

We love “North Indians”, when I say I mean the rest of India. It is not the religion that tears India apart, it is this that does. The boundary between India and Pakistan looks far less erasable compared to the boundary between the South and North of India. We are one nation and let us talk like ONE.

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6 thoughts on “South Vs North

  1. Thanks a lot 🙂 The pleasure is mine to have nominated you. Just click the link I gave in my previous comment and read through, you will know what to do from there!

  2. Much needed post. That Madarasi tag has always haunted me – Yes I am a Chennaite or even a prouder Madarasi. For me the stereotyping of wanting to eat only idli three times a day, or that patronizing is “roti fine for dinner?” – as if we never have ate those rotis at Chennai has brought nothing but a smirk. And you wrote a post on it – *why did I not think of it earlier*

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